5) I listen to the new Gucci Mane in church….
Yea I like to pull up at random mega-churches that are the size of an Atlanta mall in an 88-Cutlass Supreme with the muffler dragging playing Gucci “Jumped out the whip” right at the valet entrance. I show the brightest of Gucci smiles and feel no shame when he says through my loud baseless speakers “She don ‘t f— with broke n****z and I love that shit.” And while the pastor is speaking of proverbs and adjectives with my one apple earplug still playing I wave off the collection plate for the 9th time and sing out loud Gucci scripture “I just jumped out the whip with a bad lil bitch…”
4) I listen to the new Gucci Mane in the shower…
The shower is my private world where I ignore all bad vibes from the outside universe. When the hot water hits my body at the same time my phone is ringing from a Sallie Mae Jade I instantly quote the great Wop and say “And I got problems, but they rich ninja problems…” Even my shaving experience is Gucci magic from the moment I spread the shaving cream across my baldhead cutting the residue of a defeated hairline I rub the steam off the mirror and remember that “Money Make Ya handsome” which reminds that I’m better looking than the average Flavor Flav lookalike.
3) I listen to the new Gucci Mane around senior citizens
On any given Sunday I walk through a downtown park, see a group of elder folk who are either playing chess or staring at the sun, turn up my mini BEATS speaker box and BLAST “Lil Story” by Gucci. When Gucci beautifully raps: “I keep the chopper close, that’s just my philosophy” trust when I say that those WW2 vets lose their minds along with the soreness of their arthritis.
2) I listen to the new Gucci Mane right before a job interview….
There is nothing that makes me feel more confident than sitting in a parking lot prepping moments before an important interview playing the street gospel Gucci Mane track “CURVE.” The vibe fuels my courage to ask for a triple increase in salary after proudly proclaiming the logical reasoning is because I like to purchase clean yellow diamonds with shoes imported from China while wearing socks that have been threaded by the finest of silk from Egyptian caterpillars.
1) I listen to the new Gucci Mane around every white person I know…
Yea, I know I should be playing a more “positive” artist like a J.Cole or a Kendrick Lamar, but damn it if I’m in the mood for some Gucci Mane then damn it I’m gonna play me some Gucci!!! I can’t always be a so-called high intellectual perfect Sidney Poitier gentlemen around them. If my white friends are truly my friends then all aspects of my life should be respected and accepted. Plus, who says white folks don’t listen to Gucci? Not only do they like Gucci but they also know all the words, hence while I keep a close ear to see if they are smart enough to skip over the “Nigga” parts when they sing. If not then I have no issue ending our friendship by delivering a backhand slap leaving a red face print across their face while singing “Missing my woes!!!”
Overall, I am tired of being ashamed of what I like. Gucci Mane should be no more looked at as a guilty pleasure than watching skin flix on Cinemax(So I heard). 10 years in the game with a damn near endless musical catalog and various rappers in the game that he either put on or influenced, it’s way past time to give Gucci his due. There are loyal fans that have been dedicated since he was a fat drinking drug addicted Gucci to now watch him evolve into sober jail free soon-to-be-married Gucci. To listen to Kendrick Lamar doesn’t make one smart no more than listening to Gucci Mane make you dumb, so save your high intellect judgment for an hotep sermon elsewhere. Gucci Mane may always remain the street poet that shines a light on areas that society like to shy away from but that doesn’t take away the fact that his music connects to people because his story of turning tragedy into triumph is relatable to the everyday struggle. Not too mention that shit goes hard!!!!