Yea, this is not a “Think Piece” where I break down every single scene and translate my written thoughts into some deep-not-so-deep type quotes. NOPE!!! This is just what came to mind after I was able to witness the epic #ForTheCulture film “Black Panther.” 

 

 

 

7) Calling white folksColonizers

FYI, the word “Hipster” doesn’t really scream “Insult” like one would think. The next time you see a gang of torn jeans and sandal wearing young modern yet-ready-to-call-the-police white folks move into your urban city bringing their coffee/wine/crumpet/bike shops to a corner near you just yell out “COLONIZER!!!!” The expression on their gentrified faces will bring a priceless joy that you will carry on for generations.

 

 

6) Your boss will know your warrior side

The next time your supervisor “strongly” suggest to you on a Friday at 3pm to stay late for work on that project that is not due for another 4 months, feel free to give them a Dora Milaje super high drop kick that will send them flying over 3 cubicles smashing into the office water cooler. Hopefully, before they pass out in a coma they will be able to see the visual of you standing over them holding in the air a recently Amazon purchased vibranium spear screaming “WAKANDA FOREVER!!!!!!!”

 

 

5) Wakanda is the new travel noire

If not for it being fictional a real-life Wakanda travel IG page would be super lit!!! Little known unemployed IG models would spend their one-bedroom rent money for a plane ticket chance to get near the waterfall cliff for a #WeInWakanda selfie!!! Plus, imagine how dope the Essence Festival would be with a futuristic space aged aircraft floating above a Rihanna performance. Not only would they embrace Janet’s wardrobe malfunction, they would encourage more of her natural motherland beauty to be showcased. Visitors from all over can drink merrily while their sober friends can designate drive them from the comfort of the hotel room.

 

 

4) Erik Killmonger is the reason why you cannot “root for everybody black”

Yea, I get the Malcolm X comparisons on some level but Killmonger was a ruthless villain with a single-minded purpose. Son was so focused on revenge that he poisoned a white woman with bad decaf coffee, shot and killed his own girl as she was being held, hostage, killed his partner and used his dead body as a bargaining tool, strangled an old lady for questioning him, and killed a recently fixed eyed Forrest Whitaker, all because of daddy issues and a failed foster care system.

 

 

3) Beware of the opposite man/woman!!!

Some of them are our friends, other co-workers, many online, the type who will be opposite for the sake of being opposite. No matter how dope of a movie Black Panther is, they’ll just hit you with an “I mean I don’t see the hype,” or “ I’m not into comic/fantasy stuff,” and the popular favorite “It was just ok…” Look, some things are not objective, and stating “It’s just my personal opinion” is just another way of admitting “I just hate that all this attention isn’t on me!!!” These folks are not as culturally clueless as they make themselves out to be, they are just the type to go out of their way to purposely go opposite of ANY wave because it gives them a false sense of bullshit individualism. Understand you will never win an argument with someone who wants to be right, so if they try to debate that Black Panther was anything but great with some whack ass written think piece then just be ready unfollow them from life.

 

 

2) Thank God, Black Panther was not horrible like Red Tails

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away Star Wars creator George Lucas gave the impression that if the movie he executive produced titled “Red Tails” were to fail then it would be unlikely that an all-black cast would get another big-budget opportunity in the film thus began a Black panic nationwide.  Black people from far and wide ran with Lucas warning message faster than crack hit urban neighborhoods in the 80s!!! We felt the need to educate every white co-worker and friend the historical importance of the film hoping their white guilt would translate into dollars. Black Twitter and other social media platforms all gathered to give Red Tails free promotion with held hands as we sang “we shall overcome” heading to our nearest theatre opening night with the assurance that the film would a timeless classic. Attitudes changed immediately after the opening credits of Red Tails when we all bared witness to one of the most overhyped movies in the culture as it was clear Lucas gave the film the discounted Star Wars budget. The struggle was super real to watch digitally fake airplanes added by a dry ass plot for a running time of 121 minutes of life that we will never be able to get back.

 

1) Your friend who went to Howard will become more annoying than ever

Yea, if you thought your dear old HU Bison friend was annoying before because of their constant ability to either point out or remind you who attended the greatest university of all of the land then times that irritation to a thousand. Prepare yourself to hear for daily praise for actor Chadwick Boseman AKA King T’Challa, AKA Black Panther, AKA “Yea, we used to kick it on the yard together!!!” Be aware that while inside the theatre watching Black Panther you may hear from way behind your seat a random long-winded “HHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!,” with another random response way down front saying “YOOOOOOOU KNOOOOOOW!!!!”  As a fellow Howard University alum I can only caution you to prepare yourself for unapologetic braggadocios tales of Bison greatness for the next 3 months and then maybe we will chill…. until Homecoming in October of course.

 

 

J.Hall

iTunes

@jhallradio

YouTube

Twitter

Instagram

podcast

Soundcloud 

MixCloud