Well, its that time of the year again, where the same holiday spirit that creates the joy of family togetherness also brings the annoyance of every random nosey as hell relative that feels like they can comment on your relationship life. So before you throw your auntie’s favorite wig in the fishbowl or punch your drunk uncle in his two front gold teeth, please feel free to use these helpful clapbacks to help prevent you from blowing a gasket before dinner is served.


1) How is it you’re not married yet?

How come your hairline looks like it’s retreating from a fight with your eyebrows?


2) How come you’re still single?

How come you’re wearing a 2018 dress that was designed for your 1998 waistline?


3) What happened to that last relationship you were in

What happened to that last prison boyfriend of yours once he got out?


 4) Do you think you’re going to be single forever

Do you think you can duck paying child support forever?


5) Why you ain’t married yet?

Why you worried about a wedding you’re never going to get an invite to?


6) Why you ain’t got no kids yet?

Why haven’t you seen your kids since the 99/2000?


7) Are you scared of commitment?

Are you scared of mouthwash?



Happy Holidays to you and please be sure to mind your own business.


J Hall